2 January 2018
The start of a calendar year is as good a time as any to reflect, and having a break from work certainly helps. My mind has time to wander, and I find myself looking backward and forward in equal measure. 2017 was a big year for me and my family – the bipedal and the quadrupedal and the quadruwheeled – the ups and downs drawing us ever closer to one another.
I aimed for 2017 to be my year of independence. The car is modified and I can drive. My wheeling skills have definitely improved, and I’m increasingly able to get out on my own with no assistance from anyone else. We are still in a rental house, so the accommodation is not as … accommodating as it could be, but I (and we) are working out better ways all the time for me to cook, reach, transfer and do other things alone that I enjoy and that I want to do for myself.
More than that, I learned (or was reminded of) some life lessons:
- Defining a vision of what is possible for yourself is critical – not having this for a period of time was nearly the end of me;
- Sharing that vision with a person who can see it as clearly as I can makes it more likely to achieve, makes the path to it more interesting and greatly enhances the picture;
- Being able to breathe while floating is a pretty important part of swimming;
- People will see me the way they see me – the only thing I can control is my response;
- Sometimes just asking for what you want or need actually works;
- The professionals have a lot to add, but there is no substitute for trial and error in finding your own way;
- Hanging out with people who share your same circumstance is a great comfort, even if you never mention your circumstance – my friend refers to it as “common peril”, and it forms part of the glue that holds us together and makes us feel safe;
- Experimenting with different ways of being is a valid way of rediscovering who you are;
- Being in the company of friends you’ve had for a long time can remind you of what you can’t do anymore, but the warm love far outweighs the grief;
- Dogs have the power to lift spirits, comfort the wounded, make the boss laugh, open doors when your hands are full, alert everyone to the presence of toddlers, push the crosswalk button, and fetch the remote;
- Cats have the power to lie beside you while you drink tea in bed and somehow make you believe that’s enough of a job to cover room and board;
- Going to the gym is a drag; being at the gym is loud and annoying and stupid; having gone to the gym makes me feel virtuous and strong – sometimes having done something is better than doing it.
I’m sure there’s more, but now it’s your turn. What did you learn (or re-learn) in 2017?