The Exhale Heard Around the World

1 December 2019

You may have heard it yourself – that big sigh of relief coming from the direction of New Zealand. Steve and I moved into our newly renovated little house in Miramar, and neither of us can seem to stop smiling.

It’s been 4.5 years since the debacle and 3.5 years since we bought the house. It feels like a lot has happened in the intervening years, yet at the same time, it feels like our lives have been on hold. Both of use have said sentences that start with, ‘when we get into our new house …’ because we have felt like this house would solve so many of our day to day issues. We have put parts of our lives on hold (risky, especially at our age) and we have put faith in an object to make life better (risky at any age). You can judge for yourself whether this has paid off. I already know the answer.

Below is a short list of things I have done unaided in the past few days that I could not do in the past 4.5 years without some level of assistance:

• Took Friday (the dog) for a walk around the block (together with Steve but without his help – he was there purely in an ornamental capacity … that and good conversation)
• Rolled down the street to the local takeaway to get some egg fried rice and brought it home for dinner
• Cooked burgers on the stovetop – seeing into the bottom of the frypan – and served them onto plates
• Washed three loads of laundry, including loading the washing machine, pegging out 80% of it and putting the other 20% in the dryer

This is a list of things I did unaided and hassle-free in our new house that I also did in the past 4.5 years but with some level of assistance or hassle:

• Turn lights on and off – imagine if, for the last 4 years, you lived in a house where all the the light switches were set at least a foot above the top of your head. A few of you might like it, but many of you would find it a stretch. Every. Time. Then imagine moving to a house where all the light switches were at or slightly below elbow level. Just reach out and flick. Ahhhhhh ….
• Open and close the blinds (or window coverings of any kind) – imagine if, for the last 4 years, you lived in a house where the curtains or blinds were on the other side of a three-foot moat and the moat was filled with aligators (okay, that’s an exaggeration, but it might as well be true if you physically can’t reach something). Maybe you could sssstrrreeeetch to grab a piece of one curtain and sort of fling it to a position that blocked a third of the light, but that was the best you could hope for on a good day. Then imagine moving to a house where the blinds have a remote control and you don’t even have to leave the bed to open or close them or you could do it from any part of the room. Ahhhhhh …
• Enter and exit the shower – imagine if, for the last 4 years, you lived in a house where the shower stall was on a platform at your shoulder level with no steps or stairs so you had to do a chin up+ to hoik yourself into it and do something equally ‘fun’ to get out of it. And no cheating by taking a shower at work or at a friend’s place – all showers in the world are the same as yours or worse. How often would you just skip the shower? Then imagine moving into a house where you take your clothes off in a big room and just turn the water on. You don’t even have to step over a threshold. Ahhhhhhh …

And finally, this is one thing I did this week with what I will call an introductory amount of assistance. Meaning, I think I will need less as time and practice happen.

Getting in and out of a swimming pool or spa – imagine if, for the last 4 years, the only pools and beaches you used were not just public, but public plus you have to perform 28 pushups on the side of the pool with everyone watching before you’re allowed to sit in a chair and roll down a ramp into the pool while everyone else gets to just walk down the steps ‘like a normal person’. Then imagine moving into a house where you can change into your bathers, roll out to your private deck and sit in a chair that lifts you quietly into the pool. Ahhhhh….

The last thing I want you to imagine is not something I did this week, but something I did without. Imagine that every time you needed assistance with one of the tasks above, it was the person you love most in the world right there beside you to help in any way you needed it. I know that it isn’t a ‘hassle’ to help someone you love, but you can’t tell me that it isn’t sometimes inconvenient, frustrating, time consuming, exhausting. Imagine that you are aware of this level of worry that you are to another person, but you are unable to make it stop – you are physically incapable of doing these things unassisted because it’s the way the world is designed and you can’t rebuild it yourself. Imagine if someone redesigned one little corner of the world for you and suddenly your beloved person could be free to think about his own thoughts or do his own life stuff without worrying about you. Ahhhhh …